Bread & Bow
by Ro Nordmann
Summary: From ancient decorum break to new mutiny, where corrupted blood makes iniquitous hands unclean. From forth aristocracy and proletariat came a pair of star crossed lovers to defy all odds. A Hunger Games/Romeo Juliet Fanfiction. Peeta Mellark's POV {Story on AO3 and tumblr with KPOV} Includes outtake The Train - written for PiP Finnick OdairPOV
1. Peeta Mellark wasn't worthy of her

**Chapter 1 ~ Bread**

Who am I to deserve her?

No one.

Peeta Mellark wasn't worthy of a woman like Katna Everdeen.

Yet here I am ready to kill and die for her.

I never wanted it to happen, still her eyes felt like laser beams, that went through all my reservations. I was a goner by her next blink.

It was forbidden, even frowned upon. She was not to be touched, much less by someone like me. I feared it was too obvious, since I felt my body react to her proximity. Did she know what she did to me? I was afraid and angry at the same time. She did this to me, no one else had ever affected me this way. Her stonily visage didn't let me read her emotions, or if she even suspected her damn enchantments had worked on me.

I was down in the food chain, a mere foot soldier in the army of the Hunter Everdeen's underground enterprise. Instead of sweating and handling sacks of flour and decorate cakes; I had forsaken my father's trade and embraced the life of an outlaw. Do I regret it? Not in the slightest, it brought me to her. I'll never regret her.


	2. My bow

**Chapter 2 ~ Bread**

It is strange how you live in the same town, with the same people, day in and day out, nothing changes. Until a single minute transforms your whole existence. If I'm truthful I believed my destiny was to live the life of mere laborer. The life of simple man with simple means, that one day would find a girl and marry her; have some kids, and grow old and die. The end.

That is the future I was looking forward to, the sixteen year old me, working like a mule in my father's bakery. In retrospect, I wanted to make my old man proud, be as good or even better than him. My brothers had no pride in their work. They simply did their chores longing for a better tomorrow. A tomorrow away from the ovens and my dreadful harpy of a mother. She only saw failure and regret, letting it all out on our hides. No one was good enough. We were always found wanting.

I guess her disdain, my father's submissive nature and my brothers taunting remarks pushed me towards my current predicament. Yet, it would cowardly of me, to blame it all on them. It was my choice to become a hired criminal, to be part of Everdeen's underground organization. I will never forget my father's heartbroken face, his shame and disappointment in his youngest son. But it had to be done, I had to free myself from the confines of town life, where there weren't many options at my disposal.

It would be fair to confess it was all because of gray eyes.

Her gray eyes.

My bow.


	3. Someway, I would make her mine

**Chapter 3 ~ Bread**

When I reached the age of eighteen, it was like a momentous occasion all around. I was finally considered an adult male, fit to decide my life's fate. But it also marked the day I decided to leave my family and take a different path.

The first time I saw her it was in town, like any other day I was working my ass off for my father. She was walking, just shopping I guess. To anyone else it was business as usual. My brothers had talked about her like she was an ice princess, looking down on everyone else. One thing they hadn't mentioned was her incomparable beauty, her grace, and innate energy.

From that moment I knew she was my path. Then her eyes, an astonishing gray looked my way. Her penetrating stare froze me in place. I felt as if she was speaking to me, through her gaze. It spoke of loneliness, and a longing that left me breathless. I was tempted to walk directly to her and take her in my arms. I nearly did.

My father called me back inside and my contact with the gray eyes was lost.

Without too much thought I knew that when I was old enough, I would follow those gray eyes.

Somehow, I would make her smile.

Someway, I would make her mine.


	4. To kill a traitor

**Chapter 4 ~ Bread**

It was easy to make up my mind.

Yes, it was.

The reality was a whole other thing. Becoming part of an illegal organization has particular steps… I had to prove my worth, more than anything be a trustworthy individual. This required the shedding of values instilled by my upbringing.

My initiation was handled by the head honcho, a man known as Haymitch. A no bullshit, take no prisoners, kind of man. At first, I was sure he would reject me or kill me himself. He simply padded my back and sent me on my quest.

First step.

To kill a traitor.

Nice way to make myself belong right?

The gun in my hand felt light at first. I kept saying this is what I wanted, to belong to the Everdeen organization. The mark, he was just a guy with hopes and dreams. But he was standing in my way.

Loud noise.

Like a firecracker.

He was dead and with it part of my soul spilled with his blood. In return, I received congratulations and acceptance. Haymitch welcomed me with open arms.

"Knew you could do it, kid."

I was the kid, the rookie, who got wedgies and slaps in the ass.

One of the guys, a very tall and handsome young man approached me.

"Wanna see what's your prize? If I do say you'll jizz your pants once you see her…"

And this is how I am introduced to Gale Hawthorne Everdeen.


	5. I wanted this night to be over

**Chapter 5 ~ Bread**

My prize was getting it on with a girl. I wasn't sure the rumors were true, but this pretty much confirmed them.

The Everdeens catered to every wish prohibited by the Panem's government. Gambling, drugs, alcohol and sex.

I was trying to look excited, willing to accept. I kept my gaze to the floor as he pushed me into a darken room. I didn't wanna do this, but I felt it was just another step.

To accepted.

One more step closer to my gray eyes.

"Well here he is! Treat him right baby… I'll be back later. Enjoy, Peet!"

I heard the click of the door closing. We were alone. The squeaking of the bed made me look up.

"Peeta?"

"Delly?"

Oh, shit.

"What are you doing here? I thought… you were gonna work in the bakery with your dad-"

"What are you doing here Del?"

She sat back on the bed in her skimpy-barely there-dress. I stayed right were I was, afraid of her next words.

"My dad threw me out. He said if I didn't get married he wasn't going to support me no more. I was on the streets…and well I ended finding a job here. It's not so bad."

I saw the shame coming out of her pores, and I felt disgusted and angry at her fate.

"You want me to help you? Maybe there's something I can do-"

She stood rapidly and closed my mouth.

"Don't you dare say a word. Please, if you complain… it will be bad for me. Just accept it Peeta. Now you. Why are _you_ here?"

I stopped looking into her sad blue eyes.

"You can tell me, Peeta."

"I wanted something more… a different path. I decided that since I'm a man now I should join the Everdeen organization and see how much I can go up in the ranks, make something of myself."

Delly touched my face and tilted my head.

"There's something you aren't telling me."

"Why didn't you come to me?"

She shook her head.

"You would've married me. Then we would've been very two unhappy people. I couldn't do that to my best friend."

Knocking on the door. We both froze in place.

"Hey Peet… how's it going in there? I don't hear any moaning or screaming. Make her scream, she loves it. I should know."

I took Delly in my arms, hugging her close.

"Del what have you done."

"I could say the same thing to you."

"I-I can't do this with you…"

She simply nodded.

"We should pretend… make it as we are doing it. Are you ready?"

"Okay."

::

After our supposed interlude, Gale came in and started hollering about how proud he was. He was looking forward to more nights together, having the fun of our lives. I cringed internally at what awaits.

"Let's get pissed ass drunk! We need to celebrate man! You are a full-grown man now. Welcome to the Underworld."

Drink after drink poured and I drowned them back.

Women were in every nook and cranny, gyrating to the booming techno music.

My ears were ringing and my vision was getting blurry.

I wanted this night to be over.

::

I was throwing up in someone's bathroom.

"There, good thing you puked inside the toilet, or else we would have to clean it. Katna would have my ass if she saw puke all over the floor. Come, get up I'll let you crash on my couch…"

Gale helped me and I fell face-down on a pillow.

Then I lost consciousness.


	6. Welcome to the Underworld

**Chapter 6 ~ Bread**

"Hey Peet! Wake up, man. You need to meet with the old man. He needs to give his final approval, but don't worry too much. Haymitch was impressed with ya. And I said you are my bestest buddy. We are gonna break hearts left and right, you'll see. You won't regret one single minute. Come one, get up. You might want to take a quick shower, 'cause you stink a bit."

He was chuckling. The fucking smug bastard.

My head felt like it was going to split in two, and the light hurt my eyes. I stood on wobbly legs, and allow Gale to help me.

Once I was more awake, I realized what the next step was. Meeting Hunter Everdeen.

I puked once again, or more like dry heave. Gale suggested I should try some toast and ginger ale to settle my stomach. I secretly wanted to punch him in the nose, or shoot in him the foot.

"So did you enjoy last night's gift? I really like her…she does this thing with her tongue on the tip of your-"

Haymitch interrupted just in the nick of time, I don't think I could have kept what I ate so far if I heard his next word.

"The boss is ready to see you. Use some mouthwash and Gale lend him a t-shirt or something. Kid try to keep your eyes down until he asks you to take a seat. Be assertive and respectful at all times. You leave your gun at the door, don't wanna give Hunter any wrong ideas, do we? Good luck. I'll see you later with your next errand."

With that the dark-haired, grayed eyed man winked and left me with Gale to finish my meager breakfast and clean-up duty.

"Don't be a pussy, Dad doesn't bite much…he just needs to make sure you are trustworthy and asset to the organization. And let me tell you, not many would've done what you did last night and not lose it right after. I think you were made for this life. I can't wait for you to meet Catnip, she'll drive you crazy, but she means well. I'm pretty sure you'll be assigned to-"

I put my hand up, trying to stop is rambling.

"Gale, I appreciate everything you've done for me…after all I'm a stranger and yet you've welcomed me like we've been friends forever, but right now I feel like am gonna hurl again and my head is killing me. On top of that I have to meet your father, my boss, who can easily decide to end me, so can you please give me five minutes."

Gale rolled his eyes, but still left me alone in the bathroom. I looked myself on the mirror. I was a mess, with eyes bloodshot and dark circles. I decided a quick shower would be best, and a clean shirt would be a good first impression. Cool clean water seemed to be the greatest medicine and torture, waking every inch of my skin.

I wondered if maybe I would catch a glimpse of her…it would give me the will to follow through. I felt the tension rolling all over my back, but there wasn't time for my stress reliever. Also it felt wrong doing that in someone else's shower. I shut the water off and opened the sliding door, as I was getting out the second door from the right opened and in came…Gray eyes. I scrambled to get the towel and cover my body, but clearly it was too late. Her wide eyes took in my nakedness and then she turned.

"Who the hell are you and what are you doing in my bathroom?"

With the towel tugged securely on my waist, I decided to look for my clothes and leave towards Gale's room.

"I'm sorry miss…Gale lend me some clothes and said it was okay to use the shower… I didn't mean to-"

Just right in time, Gale came to my rescue, or so I hoped.

"Peet…Oh. Katna, this is Peeta Mellark… Peet his my twin sister Katna Everdeen. We share the bathroom… I forgot to close the other door, sorry."

He looked sheepish, but was trying to hold in his laughter. Gray eyes were glaring at Gale and simply left the room, stomping all the way.

"Did you give her a show? She is red all over. Man get dressed you need to be at my Dad's door in five minutes."

"FUCK!"

:::

The red door was staring me in the face. I had tried deep breaths to calm myself, but I still felt nauseated and a bit dizzy. I feared that once those doors opened I would keel over right on the spot. My hands were sweating and I kept drying them on my pant leg. My gun was set on the desk by the door, shining back at me. If I was truthful, I didn't want to part from it. But it was regulations, no one comes to the boss armed. I bet he does have an arsenal at his finger tips. It didn't seem fair.

Finally, Haymitch opened the door and beckoned me forward. Every step felt like quicksand. Was I shrinking into the floor? I most be still under the influence of that fucking moonshine or the smoke from that godforsaken room. Haymitch gave me his signature pat on the back and closed the door on his way out. I missed his presence, since he was the only other person apart from Gale I knew in this new life.

"Mr. Peeta Mellark. Please, take a seat. We have much to discuss."

I didn't want to keep the boss waiting. The room smelled like leather and evergreens. Hunter Everdeen was standing behind a large, dark desk. There was nothing intimidating on his gaze. You could say he was trying to be welcoming and charming, but I knew it was a smoke and mirrors. His hand directed me to my designated seat. My hands immediately took hold of the armrests, and Hunter Everdeen didn't miss the gesture.

"Relax. Haymitch has given me his impression of you. You did what was asked of you, no questioning or second guessing on your part. That is quite remarkable for someone whose never killed a man in his life. What was your past occupation?"

I closed my eyes for a second and then exhaled.

"I worked in my father's bakery, sir."

As I addressed him, I made eye contact and kept looking directly into his eyes…eyes that seemed familiar in color, but were pools of mystery and deceit.

"Mind if I smoke?"

Was he testing me? I felt uncomfortable under his scrutiny and started to fidget in the seat. I was sure I saw his smirk…Gale had the same smirk.

"No, sir."

As he took his first intake, his gaze changed and his eyes were darker.

"You have entered the Underworld…and now you may never leave. If you want to be part of my family you will vow right now your loyalty, with your blood, and with your life. This is the end of Peeta Mellark, the boy with the bread. You will leave this room as Peeta Mellark, a Man with the Gun."

What came next was the next step into a manhood I hadn't imagined. With a silver dagger my hand was slashed and the blood that dripped from the wound was collected in a crystal flask. A book was waiting for my signature with my blood ink.

"Take his shirt off, Darius. Now kneel."

I was shivering all over and blood kept dripping down my hand, falling on the hardwood floors. I pitied the person responsible to clean after this. I kept my head down in reverence. Hunter Everdeen was circling around me.

"You think you are worthy of my trust? You think it's easy to gain it? You boy need to bleed, and kill for me as long as I say, for as long as I want. You want to go up in ranks? You keep your eyes and ears alert. We have many enemies and turncoats in our midst ready to give up information to the Peacekeepers. As for now you have passed the first test. You have bled and you have pledged yourself to the Underworld, now pay the price that comes with that vow."

His voice was right on my ear, like a growl of an angry lion protecting his pride.

Then I felt it, the barrel of a gun right on my temple. My eyes closed and my breathing accelerated. Did I not do this right? Was this it?

"I pledge…my life to the Everdeen Organization. I will protect this family at all costs. My blood is your blood, my body is your body, my gun is your gun. The boy with the bread is dead, and now shall rise a man with the gun."

I was thankful my voice didn't break.

Silence.

And then he pulled the trigger.

All the air in my lungs left me, and I was sure my heart was ready to explode out of my chest. I was still alive and much more relieved when I felt the barrel leave my temple.

"Rise, Peeta Mellark, you are a man now. Welcome to the Underworld."

Would I regret this later? Probably.

Was it worth it? Yes, anything to be close to my gray eyes.


	7. She was my Bow

**Chapter 7 ~ Bread**

Gale was so happy that he decided we should celebrate…again. I was dreading what he thought would be a good induction gift. I certainly couldn't pull off the same thing with another girl, what I did with Delly.

If Katna heard, would she ever look my way again?

Truthfully, her opinion was the most that mattered after all. But then I was deluding myself, as I wasn't worthy of her in that way. She was probably betrothed to some rich guy, from a Capitol family. I was just the baker's runaway son.

I told myself that just having the chance to be close to her was enough, but I was kidding myself. Her presence was enough to ignite my senses, making me want to gouge the eyes of any male within the vicinity of her.

I knew that from now on I was looking to being hard every fucking night. It was embarrassing to admit just one glimpse of her was enough. She was in my thoughts constantly, like a recording, egging me on to succeed in this life.

Mesmerizing that's what she was, like that day on the street.

The breeze through her hair…

Her eyelashes touching her cheeks…

Her skirt fluttering against her thighs…

She had been twirling on the front steps of the boutique and I was unfortunate to be a witness. It would forever haunt me, keeping me aroused and ashamed. She would never be mine. I was no one. She's meant for someone else.

Yet, I couldn't deny these feelings brewing within me.

Was it all just physical?

Maybe I should just try to give in to these urges with some nameless girl, just like any hot-blooded eighteen year old.

:::

As part of my training I had to learn to shoot, and practice makes perfect. I had been on the shooting range for about an hour. Haymitch had come and gone, whistling and giving accolades for my impressive execution. He said I must have an innate ability for sharp shooting, which would help me move up inside the organization.

I had to stop, since my hand had started to cramp and in turn making loose my accuracy. As I was loading another round on my gun, I perceived I wasn't alone. Someone was watching me, and it was my gray eyes.

"That's quite good for a rookie."

I avoided looking her way, already feeling flushed at her mere presence.

"When Gale finds out, he'll be forcing you everyday to go with him… but you might give him a complex. You are better than him, and unbelievably you just started."

I finally gave in, and looked at her.

I noticed she had a bow in her hand. Her fingers were caressing it lovingly. I found myself wishing those fingers would touch me the same way.

Do I dare say her name?

"Do you shoot, Miss Katna?"

Her eyes darken suddenly. Did I say something wrong?

"I'm not bad with a gun, but I prefer my bow and arrows. I learned from my father when I was only six. He made this bow for me, he wanted his little girl to be the best hunter around. It is my most priced possession."

With that she took her stance, with an intense concentration she let the arrow fly and hit in perfect precision right on the center of the target.

From that moment on, she was my Bow.


	8. Fuck my life

**Chapter 8 ~ Bread**

She had totally disarmed me.

And the regret started to creep up on me.

She was right there, close to my touch, but so far at the same time. I could never hold her in my arms and kiss her cheeks. My bow was never to be mine. My Bow…only in my head.

I was called back. Haymitch wanted to give me the rundown on a few things now that I was officially a member of the Everdeen organization. All pretty standard stuff like don't talk about the family and die trying to protect them. I met some of my associates.

Darius had been the one in the room at my initiation, and I pretty much stayed away from him. Rory was a very young recruit, who seemed to have a crush on Gale, as he followed him everywhere. Vick was Rory's older brother, his job was to smuggle the liquor through the underground tunnels. He risked his life every time for when of cave ins, but I think he loved the rush of it all. Then there was this fellow, handsome and tall with sea green eyes, whom everyone made way. At first I thought he was standoffish, but when I found out what he did for the organization I understood. Finnick Odair was a male prostitute and hit man in a quest to free his lost love imprisoned by Snow's government. I couldn't judge him, after all hadn't I killed a man just so I could see my bow. Plutarch was a bit large around his middle, so I really didn't think he was a field man. Boggs was a security expert and in charge of the detail assigned to the family.

Gale came into the room a bit disheveled, with a pleased smirk on his face. Instantly I knew he had been with one of the girls. Haymitch just chuckled and kept talking about the rules, the ones that would direct the rest of my life.

"Peet you need to relax after all this shit… a night underground will make you a new man. You can choose Glimmer, but do it before Cato gets here or she will be all bruised up. Or maybe you'll like it rough and want to be beaten yourself? Johanna caters to that predilection, right Haymitch you old dog?"

Haymitch tried to play it cool, but I swear he was blushing and discreetly took a sip of his ever-present flask. I swallowed and looked at the floor. How was I going to survive not

taking a girl to my bed? There was only one…and she was off-limits.

Once again I began to toy with the idea that maybe I should simply give in, lose my virginity and be a full-grown man. It wouldn't be with Delly, she was like a sister to me.

My musings got interrupted by nefarious news.

Boggs came to our little group to brag about the organization getting a doctor by marriage. Gale decided to elaborate, "Katna will be the distinguished wife of Dr. Mitchell Asher. It has been decided by father and mother. I'm so glad it's not me. It would definitely take time from my favorite girls."

The smug bastard gives me the wink, when I've just been punched in the guts.

:::

I was living under a haze. I kept to my assigned routine. But once I was off the clock, I'd be swallowing shot after shot. With the news of the nuptials between Katna and the mob doctor, I let myself be consumed by the encompassing darkness that lived and breathed in the Underground. Girls kept throwing themselves at me, which in my state was not the best thing.

Gale didn't understand my reluctance to embrace my new freedom, to explore and fuck any pussy in sight. But Haymitch told him I was grieving my old life, the end of my childhood. It was neither. And here came Haymitch with my next assignment.

"Mellark! I need you to find Gale. You need to familiarize yourself with the mansion. The masquerade ball is in two days, so I need you to be in top shape, no more drinking your weight in my moonshine, kid."

Fuck my life.


	9. I'm the foolish dreamer

**Chapter 9 ~ Bread**

Gale was easy enough to find, between some girl's legs, giving it to her hard and fast.

Clearing my throat loudly, I tried to get his attention.

"Harder, baby. I know you can do better!"

This seemed to get Gale out of his rhythm.

"What the fuck, Bristel? Get the fuck off yourself!"

He was closing his pants, when he finally noticed he wasn't alone.

"Fucking bitch. Hey Peet…what brings you here, I thought you were gonna do your same routine. Want me to get her back here, or maybe you want-"

"Gale, we have orders by Haymitch. I need to know the perimeter and the mansion for your birthday party in two days. So no drinking for me tonight."

He scoffed.

"You wanna drink something better? I have some stuff in my room, I'll share with you. Maybe that's what you need an ear to listen, unburden yourself from the past demons, eh? Man, I really want you to have some fun, like that first night. Then, with less throwing up and waking up Katna though. She would string us up in the tree in the backyard for the insects to bite our skins off. And I'm not making this up, she would totally do it."

Hearing her name was like a cut deep under my heart, and blood was dripping slowing out. Her marriage would be a slow death for me.

Would I be able to stand beside her, while she holds her husband's arm? See her have his children and smile at their birthday parties?

I was sure I was about to embarrass myself by the tears that wanted to spring from my eyes. I'm a deluded idiot, dreaming of a different life…having her close was the worst torture. Never knowing what her lips taste like…to touch her hand and take it in mine…Take what she was willing to give me and make her mine…A fool's paradise, that's what I was reaching for, never to be found.

"Let's go then, before that old bastard comes to check on us and rats us out to father about dereliction of duty. You certainly don't want to be reported to the boss. Come, first we'll stop at the kitchen, I'm a bit hungry."

Gale was always hungry apparently.

An older woman by the name of Sae had already prepared some food for Gale. She touched his cheek lovingly, like a grandmother would. It made me yearn for a mother-figure to have cared for me that way.

"Who is this young man, Gale Hawthorne?"

"This Granny Sae is my dear friend, Peeta Mellark. He's training to become Katna's bodyguard."

She proceeded to look me over, and seemed to give her approval by nodding. Gale patted me on the back, giving me the signal that it was time to move on.

"Thanks for the food my darling Sae."

"Be good, you hear Gale Hawthorne. Don't let him corrupt you, Mr. Mellark, your eyes tell me more than you let on."

Gale rolled his eyes at her cryptic message, but I felt a shiver run down my spine. What were my eyes telling her?

:::

Boggs found us and started giving me pointers on all the security cameras and their locations around the mansion. Haymitch also joined us, I'm sure to check if we had followed his orders to the letter. He even smelled my breath.

"You need a suit for the party, Mellark. There's a closet for the hired guns, but I think we need to make sure there's one that fits you. You will also need a mask, I want you to be able to be camouflaged as a guest. You will still be armed and wear an earpiece always, just in case. If you don't have any questions…I'll leave you. Goodnight, kid."

:::

I found a grey suit and was given a silver and black mask to wear for the party. I looked myself in the mirror and wondered if she would even recognize my presence. Gale came to my rescue and fixed my tie.

"You're sweating bullets, Peet. I'm sure no one will make you draw your gun tonight. We are still just kids to the rest of the world, only potential takers of the Everdeen organization. Boggs will have your back, so keep your ears open to his commands and all will be well. Have some fun, drink some, but not too much. Maybe dance with a little lady and get some. I'm worried your dick will shrivel and dry up, needs to get wet. I'm surely gonna get laid, all night long."

:::

The preparations were non-stop until the very last-minute. Everything had to be perfect for the birthday celebration of the Everdeen twins. I knew Gale was yearning for his father's special gift. He was trying to figure out what it was, and secretly hoping it was a fucking orgy. Gale and his earthly exploits would definitely be the death of him.

I was in the background, present but trying to remain unnoticed. Boggs had given me some pointers in how to carry out my position. How to keep my eyes and ears open, while remaining in the shadows. The goal was to not be identified as a security detail. This event would test my performance and adaptability to my surroundings, while keeping tabs on my subject. Speaking of my subject, I had yet to see her.

I wondered if she's pleased with my assignment as her future personal bodyguard. What I feared was that it didn't even matter to her. I was probably a nuisance. Katna was certainly capable of taking care of herself.

:::

The party was in full swing, all boisterous action surrounding me. Katna was barely trying to keep an interested attitude, while Gale was in his element. I wanted to take her away, and make her truly smile. And maybe take that swirly, mesh, see-through dress off her skin. Her cat mask was taunting me, and I didn't know if I would take it from her face or if it would help my confidence.

A hand touched my elbow. It was Delly.

"How are you doing, Peeta?"

She looked stunning, no one would have looked down on her. She was just another gorgeous girl in the Everdeen mansion, having fun beside the most eligible bachelor of District 12.

"I'm doing okay. Learning the ropes, like tonight is an exercise. So please stop distracting me."

I gave her a meek smile and she touched my cheek, then twirled away towards Gale. His hands found her instinctually, holding her close to himself. They looked perfect together, and my heart ached for Delly, for I knew this wouldn't end well for her.

Whoever was Dr. Mitchell Asher, he had stayed away from Katna. I was thankful for that little favor, for I didn't know how I would cope seeing his hands touch her…see her laugh at his stupid jokes…take hold of his arm…dance with her close to his chest. Just imagining it, my heart would accelerate and I'd experience shortness of breath.

Boggs took notice of my change in attitude, and asked through the earpiece if I was fine or if I had seen something of importance. I simply shook my head and began to take deep breaths, trying to regulate my breathing. Only it didn't last, as Katna practically strode towards the doors that led out of the backyard, alone.

She was headed towards the woods, probably to the tree fort. I followed, keeping some paces behind not alerting her to my presence, or so I thought. I ruined my stealth mode when I saw her almost tumbling down the steps.

"Get your hands off me! I can do it on my own. Can't even walk on my own for five minutes, without one of you babysitting the precious heiress. I'm so sick of it. I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF!"

And just as abruptly has her rant had started, she got quiet. She climbed the rest of the way, and I was right behind her. I couldn't leave her alone, not like this.

"Talk to me. I'll listen and I promise I won't judge."

She scoffed and turned her back. I immediately missed her eyes, looking through her cat mask.

"It should be easier to do, to confess. We are not ourselves tonight. I don't know you, it would be anonymous…"

I knew she wanted to say something else, but kept it to herself. I stayed silently waiting for her, to trust me.

"All my life I've known what's my place…I have no other choice. And now I even have less control…my husband has been chosen for me. A man I don't know anything about, only that he will be a useful asset to the organization. My wishes, my wants are not taken into account. My future has been set. It is my duty, and I have to abide to my father's commands. Not what my heart yearns for…"

Our eyes connected, as she whispered those words, what my heart yearns for…

"What does your heart yearn for?"

Katna came closer, so close that her nose touched mine.

"You."

And then she touched her lips to the corner of my mouth. I could smell the alcohol she had consumed. It gave me pause. She wasn't herself, and I simply couldn't believe her words. Then she moved my mask and said, "Bread it will always be you." And pushed her lips hard against mine. It had to be a dream, having her within my grasp, tasting her lips on mine.

Our bubble didn't last long, though.

"Katna? KATNA! Katna!"

A man was calling for her, for my Bow. Our time was up, and I didn't want it to end. Her eyes were glassy as she stared one last time, then she fell down the fort. I was ready to climb down and help her, when the man found her.

"There you are, I've looked all over for you. I wanted to introduce myself, my name is Mitchell Asher…"

He kept talking as if nothing had happened, like she hadn't fallen out of tree house. Katna declined his help and stood on her own two feet.

"I was just saying goodbye to my childhood memories spent in here…forgetting about foolish dreams of a little girl who didn't know any better."

Her words went right through my chest, straight like an arrow shattering what was left of my naïve, stupid heart. All I heard was white noise, and I welcomed the momentary deafness. As I climbed down, I saw two masks, both cats, a domestic cat and a lion.

They fit together.

I'm the foolish dreamer.


	10. No more tonight

**Chapter 10 ~ Bread**

For a split second I was tempted to run away. I wanted to escape this life I had hastily embraced. She was never going to be mine. My naiveté had blinded me, driven me to my doom. Now I had sworn with blood an oath I had to uphold or my life would be forfeit.

I was so caught up in my disconcerting emotions that Haymitch startled me.

"WHAT. THE. FUCK. WAS. THAT, BOY? Do you have a death wish? If anyone else saw that kiss you would already be a dead dog. No one would be able to identify your disfigured corpse. I thought you were smarter, but a lovesick fool? Is that the reason you joined the organization? 'Cause you had a hard-on for the Boss' daughter?"

He was out of breath, holding his gun at his side. I bet he wasn't afraid to use it on me, and free me from my misery.

"Do it. Take me out. I signed my death the day I decided to leave my old life behind. I don't exist anymore. I'm no longer the baker's son. I'm Peeta Mellark, a Man with a Gun ready to die for the love that never was. Yes, Haymitch your prodigy is a big disappointment. Katna Everdeen will marry according to her station and I'll be the one staying by the sidelines watching her every move, protecting her from all harm. But never holding her in my arms and kissing her lips, but watching the lion consume his lioness."

Haymitch punched me right on the jaw. Afterwards I had to spit the blood that had pooled inside my mouth.

Pointing his finger at me, "You are the bravest and most moronic kid I've ever met. I saw her kiss you…I'm sorry, but there's no future for this. Let it be the end. Just concentrate on your training and find yourself an outlet. I drink and occasionally visit the girls, as most of us are allowed to. It's not worth your life, instead keep her safe from afar. In time you will heal and this will all be a blur that you won't remember much."

Only I would remember her taste and how she felt in my arms, until my last intake of breath.

A screech through my earpiece alerted me back to reality. I was supposed to be watching Katna.

"Mellark! Mellark! Where the fuck are you? Get back here, NOW!"

Boggs sounded really pissed off.

"You heard the man. I'll see you after the party dies down. You should come down and stay a while in the Underground. See how this life can do for you, it's all I can offer you."

He shook his head and left as swiftly as he had come.

:::

Back into my position, with mask on I addressed Boggs.

"I'm here."

She was there, right in the middle of the ballroom, dancing with her lion. I couldn't contain my growl. His hands were all over her, his face closer than it needed to be. My hands kept clenching into fists.

He was going to kiss her here, in front of everyone, establishing he had won. He was marking his territory, his property, asserting his dominance. The cousin, Cato Hadley was watching as well and he was sneering towards Asher. It suddenly dawned on me that I wasn't the only one entranced by Katna…Cato was another cat on the prowl and his prey had been taken way. It angered me even more.

Katna was no mouse to be devoured by the prince of cats or taken as reward for services rendered by the distinguished Dr. Mitchell Asher.

"Get your hands off me! Peeta! Don't you fucking touch me! How dare you!"

Katna pushed Asher from her and almost fell to the floor. I'm by her side immediately.

"You don't own me yet. You are not my husband."

He tried to touch her again.

"PEETA!"

In an instant, I have her in my arms striding towards the stairs. Her face was close to my neck and I felt her breathing start to normalize. She was falling asleep. Asher didn't dare follow us, and for that I was thankful. I wouldn't hesitate to take him out, no minding the consequences.

Boggs was giving instructions through the earpiece, but all that mattered was getting her inside her room away from peering eyes.

"Bread…you are mine, always."

She kept murmuring those words over and over. I was just about to set her on the bed and call Sae, when it happened.

Her eyes opened, still glassy, she removed my mask and her mouth moved into a crooked smile.

"Those blue eyes, I love those blue eyes."

And then she kissed me. I stayed stiff and detached, not letting her drunken mistake hurt me. Katna finally passed out, my saving grace. As I descend the stairs, I noticed I left my shield. The mask was on her nightstand.

Do I return for it?

Boggs announced my job was done. That I should join the rest of the boys in the Underground. Gale was dancing with Delly, and I can see she likes him a lot. I finally understand I'm not the only one mesmerized by the Everdeen twins, and we will be the ones left heartbroken in the end.

There's no place for fools where they are headed.

:::

I decided to follow Haymitch's advice and keep living, as a Man with a Gun should. The Underground was the place for me now. I had to accept I was just a hired gun, destined to drink my liver away and fuck all the pussy I wanted. It was a young man's dream, right?

I tried to set my face into a smirk and see if I attracted any of girls towards me. Inside I felt the defeat, the burning pain of seeing Katna dancing with _him_. Even though she rejected him, she'd been intoxicated and she surely would apologize to him. It was her duty. I had to do mine.

There it was, the touch of a delicate hand on my arm.

"Finally joining us? Come with me, I'll take good care of you."

She was blonde and had blue-green eyes. I didn't know her name and didn't want to find out. She was the antithesis of my Bow. That was exactly what I need.

From the periphery I make out Haymitch's profile, he's embracing some woman, talking in her ear. She smiled back and nodded, took his hand guiding him toward the private rooms. I wasn't the only looking for solace tonight. Boggs was getting a lap dance from a red-haired woman, one of the regular girls I guess.

"Hey Mellark! Have fun! You need to loosen up or you'll get an ulcer or a heart attack. It's not always like tonight though…yeah baby do that again…Miss Katna is usually well-behaved…"

Boggs lost the thread of the conversation when the girl decided to slip off his lap and kneel. She started to open his pants.

"Enough talk. Would you like a drink? I can take you somewhere private if you prefer-"

"Yes, let's go to your room."

I wasn't going to be the butt of everyone's jokes if my floundering moves revealed I was a fucking virgin.

"What happens inside these rooms stays here. Anything goes, all you can imagine or want can be yours…I know you had Delly before-"

I stopped her.

"Can you suck my cock?"

I started to unzip my pants and she obediently knelt at my feet.

It felt empty and meaningless. It felt like an act of revenge. I was trying to get back at Bow for rejecting me, for leaving me at the tree fort, and walking away with her betrothed. But I knew this was my life now. It was too late to back out and crawl out of Everdeen's underworld. I was one of them, and this was my home now.

Finally bared, she took my cock in her hand and stroked it. I wasn't hard and if I didn't get hard this wasn't happening. Unbeknownst to the girl kneeling at my feet, the face of the one I'm trying to escape came into my mind's eye. Her gray eyes staring right through my soul, looking like shinning stars, her tight dress, the taste of her lips upon mine, the feel of her within my arms. Spontaneously, I moan loudly and the girl envelops her lips around my harden dick. I grabbed hold of her loosen locks of hair and fucked her mouth repeatedly, until I come down her throat. I fell back into an armchair.

"May I ride your cock, sir?"

She acted all demure and started to undress. I just want to pass out and forget this night, all of it.

"Get me some of Haymitch's stash. No more for tonight."

I closed my pants and laid back, closing my eyes.

No more tonight.


	11. Endurance

**Chapter 11 ~ Bread**

This was the life.

I had accepted what that motherfucking bitch Fate had sent my way. I was a Man with a Gun, no doubts about it.

That night was crucial for my full integration with the guys. Then I proceeded to gain their respect. It was no easy task, but I had nothing better to aspire to.

There were no lingering thoughts of what ifs and what nots. I had a job to do, and that was…become the best bodyguard for Miss Katna Everdeen.

Haymitch was proud as a peacock, once he saw I had taken his words to heart. But deep inside his gaze I saw his regret. Was it regret? Or sadness? It didn't matter. He was right to punch the lights out of me. I had made an oath.

Boggs became my mentor and companion, which was a good thing. Gale and I had a bit of a falling out…over Delly. But the funny thing was Gale doesn't hold grudges for very long and was patting me on the back like nothing was wrong just a few days later.

I didn't see Delly again… It seemed she was for his use only. It was better than being passed around.

Another new comer, at least to me, was a guy called Cato. He was family and felt entitled and looked at us with authority. I fucking disliked him, and only wished I could have a few rounds with him. It would probably get me killed, but he needed to be put in his place. I heard what he liked to do with the girls, he was their introduction into the Underworld. Let's just say I was glad I wasn't a girl when I came to the Everdeen Organization.

Days turned into weeks, weeks into months, all consumed with my training. I was pushed beyond my physical limits until I passed out, with no concern for my health. Dear old Dr. Mitchell Asher would give me uppers for me to get up and start again.

My shooting acuity was astounding, since I could hit the mark every time. Boggs was certainly envious of my skill, and bragged to his friends about me. I felt bad, knowing I was going to replace him. But he said there was always something to do in the Organization. After all, Primrose Everdeen needed protection as well.

As for her, I simply kept her locked inside my mind. If she was close by, I would keep to my duties. She was my object of attention, but at the same time she didn't exist. She was the ether, invisible.

From what I could see, she had taken her role and was doing her own duties faithfully. So much, that Mitchell was always around… touching her and speaking into her ear.

Endurance.

That was my excellence showing. I could surpass anyone, withstand any challenge thrown my way.

I also embraced the solace of liquor and the curves of a warm body. No one would question that aspect of my life again.

Nameless.

Faceless.

Meaningless.

I never asked them their name. I had no interest in their lives, no reason to hear the stories behind their vacant eyes.

Mouth on skin.

Thighs clenching on my waist.

Moaning on my neck.

I just wanted to feel. Feel anything, for just a while.

"Get off! And get the fuck out!"

I never wanted them to stay. It was just the release I was after, then I wanted to be left alone.

I closed my eyes and lying back on the bed. It might have been just seconds or more, but I knock on the door startled me awake.

"Enter."

It was Haymitch.

"Hey, Mellark. Mr. Everdeen would like a word with you…you better not let him wait for you. Clean up, get dressed, I'll be waiting outside."

Two fucking years, and now I had to see his face again.

What could possible Hunter Everdeen want with a mere foot soldier like me?

:::

"Good to see you, Mellark. All I hear are good things about you… Please take a seat. No need to feel nervous. This time I won't take out my gun or spill your blood. These two years have served their purpose. I would like you to begin working full-time as Katna's bodyguard starting tomorrow morning at 8 o' clock sharp. Boggs says you are ready for this responsibility, and Haymitch might as well adopt you for all the praises he has for you. Make him proud… and don't fuck up. Understood?"

How do you answer a long-standing Man with a Gun?

"Yes, sir."

Hunter chuckled, amused at my response.

"You will guard my Katna with your life, at all cost. I don't doubt it. Even from her fiancée, Mellark. If he steps out of line, you are free to kill him. I don't give a fuck what his parents will have to say about it… You are free to go… enjoy the Underworld."

I stood and left the office promptly. I kept going over Everdeen's words. He had just given a blank check to off Mitchell… I was relishing it a bit too much. I would have to be vigilant always…

"Hey, Mellark. How did it go? I'm so proud of you, kid. You have your first real assignment-"

"Boggs…I have a question. Why did I just get permission to kill Asher? Do you know?"

Boggs got all quiet and started moving swiftly out of hearing range of any one close by.

"Lower you voice, for fuck's sake, Peet. It's just that Mitchell has become… bothersome. Mr. Everdeen won't stand for it, so you are free to waste him in case he…crosses the line. Try not to get trigger happy, Mellark. And good luck tomorrow! I'm gonna see if I can get a turn with Johanna tonight, later!"

He left in a hurry, down the passageway to the men's quarters.

It had been a mistake asking. Not because of risking someone listening in on our conversation, but of the implications.

Mitchell was being…bothersome.

Now I was just itching to pull the trigger, just like Boggs warned me not to.

Her gray eyes invaded my mind. That night, her blue dress.

The kiss we shared.

Stop it, please.

That can never be, and I'm no longer that boy.

Feeling my gun tucked on my waistband, I could breathe again. Maybe I needed another round of nameless bodies, and uncounted releases at their hands. No chance to drown in alcohol, I had to wake up ready and alert tomorrow.

The smell of sex and smoke alerted me to the fact I had entered the Underworld. I was looking for a willing vessel, when I was confronted with someone I hadn't seen in months.

"Peeta… I need to talk with you."

She looked thin, with dark bags under her eyes. Her blonde hair was unkempt, and her clothes were disheveled. Delly looked lost, in need of a friend.

"Yes, let's go somewhere more private."

She took my hand and moved us away from prying eyes. I looked for Gale and saw him practically swallowing the newest member of the Underworld, a girl with red hair, that look barely sixteen.

Suddenly, I feared and dreaded what this conversation would bring.

Fuck, I needed a drink and decided Haymitch would probably kill me if I didn't show up tomorrow. I was looking forward to a bucket of ice-cold water.

I closed the door behind me, mindful of the lock. Delly sat at the foot of the bed looking at her feet. Only she was now openly sobbing, as her chest started to move up and down, her breath out of control.

"He-He said I was special…and I believed him. He had me, only for months and I stupidly believed it meant something. I-I love him, Peeta. So much…and now… its over. He said I had to work like everyone else. He doesn't know… He just discarded me and took another one. I-I can't watch it, Peeta. I just can't."

I collapsed on the wing-back chair. I really didn't need this now. I was about to say some lame ass line, to console her, when she interrupted me.

"I'm pregnant."

Well, fuck me.


	12. Embers

**Chapter 12 ~ Bread**

Things as usual on the Everdeen Organization.

Money running smoothly and booze at the disposal of the highest bidder.

I regretted my place as bodyguard. I could have been a runner, be a trusted member and fucking get out of this damned town.

But no, this was my lot, to be around her all the time. And him, that Asher, the fucking creep and his wandering hands. It took so much control over my overwhelming urge to blow his brains out.

As for Katna…she avoided looking in my direction, but somehow I felt her stare, one that scrutinized every detail. I wondered what she saw…was I different now? Did she respect my new position in her father's empire?

No answers.

I could never ask them and expect a reply. I was just a hired gun, a man set to protect the heiress of Hunter Everdeen. A man you don't cross, you only have the choice to uphold his law, forget the rest.

Did I fear him?

Yes. It was clear from our first meeting, one step out of line and I would meet a bullet from his gun. He would do it himself, it was just his way. It represented and embodied his commitment to his life's legacy.

In a way I was happy I wasn't his son, it would be too much pressure to satisfy his standards. Would Gale make him proud after everything his father expects of him?

There was Delly.

And her unborn child.

I hadn't known what to say or do that unfortunate night. She had come to me, like her savior. Like I had all the answers to her despair. She even suggested to play it as we had reconnected now that Gale had chosen a new playmate. Pretend we were a couple, then say I had fathered her child.

It would give the baby a name, a father figure…but in the big picture, was I father material? Could I take that responsibility for the sake of my best friend? Was I going to marry her and act like a happy family?

No, I could not.

Help her I would in any capacity I was able, but saying the child was mine, claiming her as my woman, that was stretching it. Gale would see through the façade and demand the truth, only he would never accept he had sired a child with an Underworld girl. It would bring upon him the wrath of his father.

I just didn't know what to do, there was only one man I could trust with this situation.

:::

"Haymitch?"

"Yeah? What's with that face? Have you gotten someone knocked-up? I thought you only allowed them to fellate you? On second thought don't answer that…Just rumors…Um…well, what is it?"

I rubbed my face and then proceeded to yank my hair. Yeah, so much for it staying inside the Underworld.

"I need your expertise and guidance on a matter…not of my doing…it concerns a girl and yes a baby-"

"Let me guess it's that blond girl who has come to you and looking teary-eyed and stressed out. Wasn't she with Gale…Oh shit! Are you saying? That moron! His father will break every bone in his hands and then neuter him, fuck passing the Everdeen name. How many people know this, Mellark?"

"As far as I know, I'm the only one. She's in love with him, Haymitch. She was his only girl for months, and then suddenly he dumped her for that redhead. She came to me…well, we knew each other from before…she was my best friend. Delly deserves better than this life. What can you do to help her?"

Haymitch stared wide-eyed and scrambled for his ever-present flask and took a big gulp.

"What can I do to help her? Are you asking for help to get rid of it? It's what most of this girls do…we have a doctor that comes for…um the procedure. Some don't survive it, I'm just letting you know in advance…is this what you are asking for?"

I felt sick…was he saying our only option was to kill Delly's baby? It was Gale's child too, didn't he deserve to know? If it was my child, I would like to know…only I would never allow such atrocity.

"Don't faint on me kid…I can't help her get out of the compound. If she runs, she will be shot at first sight. She has seen and been around here, therefore her life is forfeit the minute she's not under Everdeen surveillance. I'm sorry. If she stays, the baby will probably survive. It's not like it hasn't happened before. Other men have been careless and birth control isn't one hundred percent unless you aren't fucking. Her duties would be changed, and live with Sae and her girls. I would say that's better than a bullet right between the eyes."

I knew shedding tears in front of another man was wrong, but I couldn't care at the moment.

"I will let her know her options. Thanks."

He stopped me from turning and leaving. He squeezed my shoulder.

"You are still Mellark's boy, even after everything you've been through. Remember who you were, to face who you are now, Peeta. Being the baker's boy wasn't a dishonor. But now you have to face the fact you are no longer that bright-eyed, innocent boy with dreams of a certain girl. And now you can't take the blame for the mistakes of a spoiled brat. Be her friend, but don't take what isn't yours to take, you hear?"

I nodded and cleared off my embarrassing tears.

"Yes, sir. Now, if you'll excuse me I have to see where Miss Katna is hiding."

He chuckled and beamed, taking steps toward his office.

"She'll keep that asshole Asher on his toes…and you alert as ever. Never a dull moment with that girl. She has Hunter's spirit more than any of his other children. It's the reason…well I've said enough. Get back to work, Mellark."

:::

"There you are…I would like to go into town. Have some shopping to do, and of course I can't go without you spying on me. Let's go. Prim!"

The blonde haired girl came running down the stairs, only she was looking a bit disheveled and angry.

"Katna! Mother won't allow me to go with you! She says I can't go without her. It isn't fair. Why are you allow to go on your own now?"

She was pouting and her older sister embraced her lovingly, trying to placate her tantrum.

"Prim, you know how Mother gets with her rules, you mustn't take it so hard. I called you to say goodbye and to let you know I bring you something special back. And you well know I won't be going _alone_."

Her tone implied my presence. In that very moment, the younger sibling looked in my direction her blue eyes digging inside my soul. She nodded to herself, as if I had passed some test.

"You take care of Katna, mister. I love her very much, much more than Gale who smells and doesn't bring me presents. Besides, you are pretty, maybe I'll marry you-"

"PRIM!"

I noticed all three of us turned pink at her statement. It was an innocent remark, but one that couldn't be repeated or there would be consequences.

"Um…Prim, you need to apologize to Mr. Mellark. He has a duty to protect me, nothing more, but he deserves to be respected. As for your disdainful words on your brother, you'll need to confess and ask forgiveness with him as soon as possible. Imagine if Mother heard any of this… See you later, Prim."

:::

"Miss Katna! How good to see you again! What can I help with today?"

"I need to upgrade my wardrobe, so I pretty much need a bit of everything…But first I would like to see your lingerie selection."

I was standing on the side, but my stance changed and I was sure my widened eyes showed my apprehension.

Was she trying to kill me?

Things between us had never really started…but I wasn't blind. Katna was the most…beautiful woman. Yes, she was a woman now, one that was engaged to that Asher. She was out of my reach…always had been. Berating myself internally I missed the merchandise had started to arrive in the private room. Even refreshments had been set for my charge's enjoyment.

"Would you like to see the pieces on someone like last time or-"

"Don't bother, Fulvia. I like to peruse them, and then try them on myself. I need to look my best from inside out for my future husband."

I tried to pretend nothing of her words were affecting me, but my teeth were grinding and my hands were fists ready to spring on the miserable bastard. He didn't deserve her…knowing he would get to touch her. Maybe he already had, and it felt like being burned alive.

As much as I wanted to display my acceptance it was clear I still held Katna inside my heart. My infatuation with my Bow hadn't diminished, only to smolder in the ashes of what Peeta Mellark had been.

And now she enjoyed taunting me.

Will she like to get burned by my embers?


	13. unrequited love

**Chapter 13 ~ Bread**

I had previously thought I knew Hell very well. In fact, I was convinced of being a welcomed member. Nothing had ever been close to the torture of seeing her so vulnerable, so close to my touch. It was a test to my resolve and my commitment to stay true to the vow I had made in blood. A man was nothing without his word pledge, even killers have honor and conviction.

That day replayed in my head, seeing her all alone in that stall. Her hair was down, making want to run my fingers through each strand. Maybe even grab her and force my mouth on her villainous lips.

Evil lips that taunted me, that were not mine to kiss, nip, and lick. Lips that lied and cruel on unsuspecting males, who were to naïve to see right through her schemes. I had been just a play thing that night,a way to rebel against her father's wishes, against her place in her family, against every expectation set on her from birth.

I was nothing to her. It was clearly plain to see…her errand boy to toy and belittle.

A fucking temptress in corset.

How did I not devour her and make her mine against that wall?

I guess miracles do exist, and my guardian angel decided to take pity on his sorry-ass ward.

Not even Delly's mess could take my mind off thinking and dreaming of how different that day could have been. Instead of helping her with that zipper…pushing it down…her milky skin displayed to my eyes. Her breast would peak out even more, maybe a nipple would jut out for my lips to suckle…

"MELLARK!"

Shit! I was rock hard, and not alone. I tried to think fast for a way to cover up my um… problem.

"Did you fall asleep? No one to your liking tonight? That's strange…I was pretty sure that girl…What's her name? Oh, yeah Cecelia had ingrained herself to you lately."

It was Odair. I didn't want to talk to him. He was just too inquisitive, and I wasn't mentally alert to divert his attention elsewhere.

"Haven't seen you for a while now."

Finnick shrugged and sat on the opposing chair. Fuck.

"I've been you know…sightseeing. I've also heard you are finally working as main bodyguard with the Ice Queen. How's that going? I bet you want to shoot her half the time. I know Boggs said she was a handful, always wondering off. The only thing that keeps her attention is going to the shooting range to practice her archery. Mmm, she has lovely posture, as she sticks out her chest…and those gray eyes, they seem like they could kill you or ensnare you to do her biding."

One minute I had listened to his innocuous conversation, and the next I was pointing my gun to his head, right between his sea green eyes.

"I dare you to say one more word, Odair."

He had the moxie to leer at me.

"So…you have it bad for the heiress of Hunter Everdeen. You are simply too entertaining, Mellark and fucking suicidal. Get your shit together, get fucked properly and forget her. She is your ticket to an early grave."

I pulled my gun away, hitting my side. It somehow helped me wake up from my rage induce fog. My breathing ragged and my pulse drumming against my forehead. All my strength left me, and my body dropped back to the chair.

"Who else knows?"

I tried to use my hands, massaging my temple and rubbing my throbbing head.

"Abernathy."

"Keep it that way. If word gets to Everdeen, its game over for you kid. I would miss you, so try not to get shot in the noggin."

He left to flirt with some new arrivals, giving them a chance to touch the Legendary Odair, while I festered in a corner licking my wounded pride and unrelenting lust over unrequited love.

In the next weeks, all I got from her averted eyes, and not many words were spoken between Katna and me. I didn't know if she was embarrassed or just indifferent, I was going with the second one. I was no one to her, why would she care what I thought about her attention-seeking behavior. I kept to my place…I had to remember what my purpose in her life was. I had to guard her, even if it cost me my life, and watch her life from the shadows. Only I never expected to be forced out those shadows, front and center to stop a certain fiancée from crossing the line. Dr. Mitchell Asher seemed determined and destined to get a good feel of my gun, right between the eyes.


	14. A fool's paradise

**Chapter 14 ~ Bread**

It was business as usual. Stay out of sight, keep your subject within sight.

Asher had taken Katna for a romantic dinner for two…well you know with me in the background. He seemed overeager, and it set me on edge. I could see his eyes looking lasciviously at her chest, that only had a modest cleavage. Katna seemed at first that she didn't mind his attentions…my blood was simmering seeing them together.

The perfect couple.

It was only for a second that my attention was diverted to a commotion, caused by the sound of breaking glass. Some poor waiter had dropped its tray. When my eyes locked back on Katna, her demeanor had completely changed. She looked upset, and the skin on face had reddened. I noticed she pushed back from the table and stood abruptly stalking away…towards the bathroom I assumed. Asher strode after her, huffing and sneering after her.

I followed right along. I found them in a dark corner, near the restroom's entrance. Katna was pinned to the wall, and her hands were shackled by his stronger grip in one hand, while the other slithers up her dress.

"Get. Your. Hands. Off. Mitchell. NOW!"

Katna tried to keep her voice down, when all she had to do was scream and alert the restaurant of this weasel's actions.

"Don't resist…You are mine. And I'll touch and take what is MINE when I want to. Now be a good girl and open your legs for me!"

Katna glared directly into Asher's face and then spat on his face. It was the turning point, as he retaliated with a resounding slap on her delicate cheek, leaving a hand mark behind.

I was no longer in the shadows, in the background forgotten. I had somehow gotten in front of Asher and my gun was pointing at his head. I was two-seconds from pulling the trigger, as my hand remain steady.

"You feel man enough now, Asher? Got you all rock hard and ready by seeing your woman reject your unwanted manhandling? I'm pretty sure she said to get your hands off her, and yet you remained relentless."

I pushed my gun to his forehead, wanting to leave my mark on his fucking face.

"What would Hunter Everdeen say…if I told him the good doctor Asher was a bit too forceful with his eldest daughter? Better yet what if I let Gale Everdeen know her sister had been slapped for denying her fiancée to finger her in public? I just wonder… Listen, I'm going to give you ONE warning. One. If you forget your place and don't respect Miss Katna's wishes, I will gladly end your life. Nothing would give anymore pleasure than to see you bleed to death at my feet. Romantic date, over. Let's move on to the car, Miss Katna."

I could see him seething in anger, but I was just edging him on. If only he would push forward, I would end it, end him. After all, my boss had given his orders. No one was good enough for Katna.

Including me.

I took her arm, leading towards the car, it was then I felt her shaking. I was tempted to hold her in arms, but that would've been a mistake. Call me hypocrite if I had given in to my urge, but I had no right to touch her without her consent. Some tears had spilled and her breathing was labored.

"T-thank y-you."

It was my turn to stare, to look into her frighten gray eyes. I never wanted to see her this way, ever again.

"It is my job, Miss Katna. I'm sorry I didn't react sooner, for that I ask your forgiveness."

I bowed my head, and kept her upright until we were close to the opened car door. As I was letting go of her arm, her hand grabbed my wrist stopping me in place. I couldn't look at her, not wanting to see my Bow, shamed and shaken.

"Peeta…"

"Please, step inside. You'll be home in no time."

Finally, she sighed and stepped inside the car. I felt relieved and angry simultaneously. He could have hurt her, and I was too lazy to take action. I was remorseful for not taking him out. He didn't deserve to live. But I had warned him, and next time he would die by my bullet.

And I was sure there will be a next time.

:::

No blow job could take away my mind from her tearful eyes. I knew this night I would need to fuck away my sorrows in some nameless body. I had one shot in hand, already set to be swallowed with gusto. It was the opportune time to get shit-faced and fucked at the same time. My eyes wandered around the room full of hot-blooded women, scantily dressed and swaying to the rhythm of the blasting music.

It had to be somebody new…no repeats for me. Gale's redhead was standing leaning against the wall, her eyes looking for him, I presumed. Cato barged into the Underground, with two new ladies at his arms. One was blonde, while the other was a brunette. The blonde one looked too skinny and young, if I would guess she couldn't have been sixteen yet. I felt disgusted at the display, causing me to involuntarily gag. Redhead bowed her head as Cato passed in front of her. His face was smug, showing his dominance over all the women he had first fuck before they catered to the men's needs, to my needs.

I felt wretched and sullied, on top of my remorseful mood. That fucking Asher had touched her against her will, and I stupidly stood by.

Haymitch took a side close by, nodded to me and thankfully pour some of his batch of liquor on my glass.

"You look like hell, Mellark. Tough night?"

I grunted, not wanting to discuss tonight's event around other ears.

"Drink up! You won't remember it in the morning!"

It was my aim, with all my will to forget. Forget his grip…her frightened eyes…her voice saying my name…

Odair was dancing as obscenely as possible with some woman, one I wasn't familiar with. From a different angle you would think they were having sex standing upright and in plain sight of everyone present. But then it wasn't something out of the ordinary here.

"Fucking Finnick…his hands all over…fucker!"

Haymitch angry whispers had my brief attention.

"Why are you whispering to yourself, old man? That girl yours?"

He seethed at me, and shook his head. No more words were said between us as we kept drinking one shot after another.

Cato had entered some private room with one of the new girls. It appeared it wasn't enough to fuck 'em and mark them as his own once. But I guess it was to make them more desirable to the rest. If he wanted to take them more than once, it implied they were quality assured.

Time slipped away from me, in my haze of binge drinking.

I must have dozed off, for I hadn't seen _him_ walk into the Underground, all cocky and full of shit. It was sufficient for one night to harass his betrothed, but now he was pawing Gale's redhead. She was trying to head him off, but we wouldn't let up. I tried to stand up, but was held back by Haymitch.

"Don't. Let Cato handle it. It isn't your problem, Mellark."

Just in time, Cato came out of this room and immediately saw the illustrious Dr. Mitchell Asher roughhousing a known taken woman. Didn't he know that was Cato's job description? He can't have competition.

"What the fuck do you think you are doing, Asher? This is my domain, here you follow my rules. Step back from Anastasia right this fucking second or you'll meet my fist, Mitchell. I owe you one."

Cato towered over Asher, forcing him to back off from the cowering woman.

"Cato I didn't provoke it, I swear…Please don't beat me…"

"Shut the hell up! Get out of my face, or I might change my mind and show you who owns you, bitch!"

She ran from the room towards the private quarters designated for the Underground women.

Asher tried to use escape, using her exit as a diversion, but it was too late. Cato slammed him into the wall.

"You miserable piece of shit…If I ever catch you down here again, I won't be so merciful. And that's stretching it for me, for I am not a charitable man. This is your one and only warning."

He fucking whimpered like the dog he was, and I'm pretty sure he peed his pants.

"GET. OUT."

Cato went to the bar and got himself a whiskey, a double. As he drank, his eyes perused his audience. His eyes locked on mine, he nodded and kept drinking as if it was like any other night in the Underground.

"Have you made a friend in Hadley?"

My head was pounding, and my glass was empty.

"We…have a common enemy apparently."

It was time I slept off my troubles and tomorrow face them all again.

:::

Thankfully, the next day Katna decided to stay home, so I didn't have to follow her around like a lap dog. I chose to refine my shooting precision, and went to the shooting range. Round after round blasted out of my gun without effort. But this morning, my aim was definitely off and not hitting its intended target.

"Losing your magic touch, Mellark?"

And there goes another one, fuck!

"Good morning, Miss Katna."

My eyes searched for the mark on her cheek…there was still a slight bruise. I clenched my hands, being careful not to fire my gun in my rage.

"I would appreciate it if you don't go gossiping to my father…I will talk with him personally. He's not here at the moment…Also I would like to thank you, again. I know you said it was your job-"

"He'll never touch you again."

She shook her head, and her eyes stared directly into mine.

"You can't promise me that. You won't be able to stop him… I just have to convince my father… never mind. Would you mind if I practice my archery? I haven't had the time to shoot my arrows, and there's nothing more soothing to me."

Like a living, breathing, miracle her eyes light up as she touched her bow. If only she would touch me the same way.

A Fool's paradise, had turned out to be my fate in this life.

"I assure you it won't happen again. I won't allow it. I don't mind at all. I think I'm in the way, so I'll leave you to your solitude."

Her hand on my arm stopped me, and it was my turn to be afraid of what her demand would be.

"You don't have to leave…I w-would like your company. We barely have spoken, and yet we have spent so much time in each others presence."

"I'll stay, Miss Katna."

"Call me, Katna."

I beamed at her beautiful smile.

I'll stay, and I keep you safe.

No one will ever hurt you again, Bow.


	15. A fucking smirk on her lips

**Chapter 15 ~ Bread**

My vow to protect her had been the truest thing I'd ever said. It was even stronger and more biding than my bloodletting ceremony pledging my fealty to Hunter Everdeen.

I thought it would weigh heavily on me, to promise my life to save her at any cost, and against any foe, even her own father. It didn't.

That morning after the Mitchell debacle, Katna showed a different side, letting down her no-nonsense persona to bring out the real girl-woman that lived underneath. Her eyes opened, letting me see her vulnerability and the burden she had to live with as Hunter Everdeen's heiress. I was plain to my eyes that she took her place in her family seriously, not like Gale as just a privilege he deserved and took pleasure from.

Katna worked for her father's empire diligently, even dealing with that low-life Cato. It was obvious he saw her more than just a cog. His eyes would drink her in, and savor every second she spent in his presence. It unnerved me, as she stayed totally unobservant of his deeper yearnings.

My Bow was caught in a web that interlaced her into a world of men that wanted to consume her, and destroy the innocence and goodness that resides within.

Am I one of them? Do I want to consume the light in her gray eyes, claim it was for my own sick pleasure?

I wasn't worthy of her before…but now I was even more unfitting in her purity and excellence.

:::

"I see you have improved your aim, since last time we had time to shoot…I love this weather, you can smell the flowers are blooming everywhere. Unfortunately, I can't stay for more than an hour today. I have to see Cato, check on the stock and the records books. It's never too safe, he might get a surprise inspection by Peacekeepers not on our payroll. That could be disastrous."

This was the way things had settled between us. I would dare to say we were friends. We met at the shooting range when we could, and it would allow her time to just let out her worries. I treasured these moments, as if they were the elixir of life, knowing it could end at any moment.

And here I was taking a chance, risking losing her…reverting back to silent glances and nods.

"Did you speak with your father…about Asher?"

Katna shuddered and averted her eyes from me. Clearly, she had postponed this must need discussion that could end her engagement with that fucking bastard.

Her gray eyes locked with my blue ones, and I was almost certain she was tempted to cry. In turn, I was inclined to take her in my arms, to reassure her everything would be right again. It was bullshit, of course I wouldn't be able to fool her. I had to restrain my romantic notions of caring for her needs; Katna wouldn't appreciate it. My Bow was an independent woman, graceful and in control of her own destiny; I was just a subordinate in charge of her security and protection.

Nothing more.

"I-I don't want to disappoint my father. He expects perfection from his children. I wish I was Prim sometimes…being the youngest gives her some leeway. Even Gale gets to fu- screw around and nothing is recriminated. But I have to always be proper and poised. Not a hair out-of-place, smiling and kissing ass. Never showing my real emotions, my wants and needs are irrelevant. All that matters is that I represent the Everdeen family to the outside world as civilized, charitable, and charismatic people."

She turned and faced the target, bow and arrow within her grasp, aligned and stretched waiting for her muscle to command.

"It is all a mirage. A façade of niceties, that hides the corruption that enslaves others and makes other wealthy. I am part of this…just a minion doing her part mindlessly in this apparatus that serves a selected few, even those that strive to end it. Sometimes…when I let silence surround me, I can see a different life, one I have chosen…I look at you, and I envy you. You are in control of your destiny."

By now her bow lays forgotten on the ground with the arrow not too far away. Her back was all I could see, and I wanted so much to turn her around, to look into her eyes…speak with her soul through mine.

"Envy… just one of my assorted list of sins. You should have been a confessor, you listen patiently, and I don't fear your judgement allowing me to vent it all in the open. You must think I'm a whiny brat, full of her own shit…Please forgive my rambling… It wasn't fair of me to dominate this conversation with inane tales of woe. I'm sure you have better things-"

It wasn't planned, it certainly wasn't warranted. I stopped her disjointed speech with my lips on hers.

I was a hypocrite.

Just a peck, I said to myself.

Her hands moved, and I was prepared for the shove off and her angry gray eyes glaring at me.

Both never came.

Somehow her hands laid on my neck, holding closer, as she opened her mouth welcoming in.

I groaned loudly, secretly dreading this all was a fucking dream that I would wake up from. My eyes opened, and met hers. We stared, as our tongues met, lips brushed tightly together. She stopped, her pouty lips disconnecting with mine.

It was a whimper, what escaped from my lips. Her taste of honey and lime lingered on my tongue, making me crave another taste of her mouth.

Her hands pushed back, creating space between us. I felt like I was drowning and wanting this dream to finally stop and I wake alone and dejected.

"Breathe," she whispered. It was then I acknowledge my lack of oxygen. I had ceased to respire, and risked passing out. Taking gulps of air, I coughed and sputtered an apology.

"P-please forgive my untoward actions, Miss Katna. It-it will never happen again-"

Her fingers stopped my blundering.

"It stays between us. I-I must go."

My mistaken kiss had ruined everything. The atmosphere of easy friendship had vanished, leaving behind awkwardness and shame. How I wished I could take it back, and offer words in comfort, instead of a misguided action.

As she walked away, I was sure it would be the end of our interludes. Surprisingly, Katna halted and gazed back over her shoulder. I gasped in response.

A fucking smirk on her lips.

It lasted only a few seconds, as she strode back to the mansion, to her duties and responsibilities, to her loneliness and contempt. But those seconds, gave me hope.

A dangerous notion in my place within the Everdeen Organization. The stakes were getting higher, as I floundered with her words and actions. But deep down I knew it was futile to fight it, the pull I felt towards my Bow, even if it killed me.

I made another promise, a silent one, to her. I would end my lost hours in meaningless sexual encounters trying to negate the truth.

I, Peeta Mellark, Man with a Gun belonged to Katna Everdeen, Heiress of Hunter Everdeen.


	16. In the flesh

**Chapter 16 ~ Bread**

Even if it wasn't the first time I visited Hunter Everdeen's private study I was sweating bullets down my forehead. He had specifically called for me…

I wondered if my impromptu kiss with Katna had been seen by some unsuspecting passerby.

Would I be facing the barrel of his gun right on my forehead?

Would I get to see a brief recount of my pitiful life?

I heard the grunting and grumbling of no other than Haymitch Abernathy.

"He's ready for you, kid. What's up with you? Why are you sweating like a pig? Do you have anything to confess? Better clean up before you go in and get your shit together or he'll smell it off you…"

I grunted in response and tried to clear my head and my face.

:::

"Mellark, good to see you again. How's the job going? I hope my daughter isn't giving you hell…she forgets who she is. Has there been any problems with Asher?"

I felt he was testing me, for I was sure Cato had blabbed about Mitchell's little visit to the Underground.

"I will do my job. My loyalty is to this family, sir. If he steps out of line…I'll be there to end him. He won't get to do it again."

Shit.

"Again? Is there something you haven't disclosed with me, Mellark?"

I looked at my hands, at my balled fists. I still wanted to pummel that fucking prick.

"Dr. Asher took Katna on a date…he-he got improper with Miss Katna. She said no, and yet he kept being aggressive with her. He pushed her against the wall and he was getting his hands up her sk-"

Then Hunter Everdeen pushed all the objects and papers on top of his desk.

"ABERNATHY!"

I stood still right in place, not knowing how to react or continue.

"You didn't shoot him, Mellark? That piece of shit better face me and explain. I'm also disappointed in Katna, she should have come to me immediately."

Haymitch came inside looking disgruntled.

"I want you to get me a meeting with Asher's father. I need to have a talk. As for you Mellark, you will keep up the good work. I called you to give you the details for Katna's trip to the Capitol. You need to be in top shape, your eyes on her. No looking the other way or giving her space. She will abide to my orders, I will fucking make her obey. There will be a schedule, there will be no deviating from it. As for Asher, you will be no more than five feet away from my daughter in his presence. If you need to use violence or even kill him, you will do so under my command."

Everdeen kept growling under his breath, and pounding on his desk. Haymitch entered and nodded to his boss.

"He will see you tonight. He left the place to your discretion."

"Give Mellark the details of the Capitol trip, Haymitch. I want him to be familiar with the logistics and schematics of the city. You never when an idiotic enemy will take a bite out of you. Now, leave Mellark, before I change my mind and take out my rage on you. If I see a mark on my Katna, you will pay with interest."

Haymitch's gaze was enough to tell me not to delay my departure.

:::

I was sitting on my own, nursing a drink that seem to be lonely within my hands. I kept replaying that night… his hands on her, pushing her against her will, holding her captive within his unworthy hands. I should have killed him right there.

I had the approval of Hunter Everdeen.

I couldn't fail him again.

I couldn't fail Katna again.

"M-Mr. Mellark? I'm sorry to disturb you, but Mr. Gale Everdeen asks for your presence in one of the private rooms."

I stopped brooding, and looked at one of the waitresses, a new of the girls was working the bar tonight. She looked skittish and ready to bolt. I wondered if she had been mistreated by others, apart from Cato's habitual ways.

I grimaced as I saw a reddish scar that ran from her neck down her cleavage. A whip mark. I was disgusted with myself for being surrounded by monsters. I wanted to ask her who had done it, but refrained.

One battle at a time.

"Which room?"

"Down the hall, last room to the left."

As I walked, I could hear the moans and grunts of the other habitants of the Underground.

"Have you been a good boy, my Haymitch? Or do I have to punish you for disobeying my orders? Don't fucking answer you insolent pet!"

I cringed in place, in the middle of the hallway. I shook my head and kept towards my destination the last door on the left.

I was a bit curious about what Gale wanted to speak with me, in a private room. He usually finds me at the bar, and then proceeds to take me back into the house, to speak in his room. It didn't make sense…but then maybe he wanted to discuss Delly's situation.

I stood in front of the door, pondering if I should knock before entering, but decided to simply push the already half-opened door.

"Gale, you wanted to see—- fuck!"

And there she was, my gray eyes, my bow, in the flesh.


	17. Just let go

**Chapter 17 ~ Bread**

"Come in… and close the door, please."

I was frozen in place. I didn't know if I had taken some hallucinogenic drug, or drunk myself into delusion, but there was no way this was real.

I gazed around the room, but no one else was there. It was my Bow, all alone in a room used for physical pleasure. I felt overwhelmed at what this meant…for us. Why had she risked coming here? What was so important she needed to come to the Underground?

I tried to speak, but my voice didn't work. I cleared my throat from its clog and tried again to enunciate.

"W-why are you here? I thought I was gonna talk with your brother-"

It was at this moment that I allowed myself to look at her…what she was wearing or lack there of. She noticed my wandering eyes, and her face flushed and her lips moved up into a grin. I was a bit amused that my reaction had pleased her.

"Like what you see? This time I had less difficulty getting it on. I wanted your honest opinion on this garment, since last time you left in a bit of a hurry, Mellark."

She wanted my opinion?

Turned and look at the door, tempted to just leave this room. She was playing with fire, always on the offensive trying to get a rise out of me.

Would I let her start the fire and not let it douse it down?

"I-I'm here to protect you, from anything and anyone set to hurt, Miss Katna. That is all my job entails…wardrobe appreciation would go better with your sister or mother, definitely not me."

I hear her huff with frustration, only she wasn't the only getting irritated with this game we were playing. It was a game of cat and mouse, but who was playing what role?

Was I the mouse that was trying to escape her grasp?

"A-are you afraid?"

Of burning with her? Let's face it the embers have been there beneath the surface just waiting to ignite…to become our skin.

I half turned and looked into her eyes, the gray so vivid like a light had been turned in their depths.

"I…I've been yours for so long, and yet that night, that fucking night you killed me. Not the fact I left my old life behind, forsaken all I had thought good and decent. I killed a man, that was my first test, if wanted to prove worthy of the Organization. I did it, Katna without hesitating. I pledged myself with an oath in blood in front of your father. I swore to protect to you with my life. And here we are playing, you are always playing with me showing me what I could have…yet so far from having it. I won't let you, I c-can't. Besides this isn't a place for a lady, you should go."

I closed my eyes, and rubbed my face hoping it was all a dream and to wake the fuck up already.

"Why did you join the Organization, Peeta? Why? I want to know! You say you are mine…I don't understand-"

My hand was turning the knob, and I was going to take the necessary steps to leave this all behind me. Haymitch's words ran through my mind. I had to forget I ever kissed her, ever loved her. She wasn't meant to be mine.

"Stop, Mellark. You will do as you are commanded. I'm the superior in this room."

I scoffed and sneered at her, her ice queen persona showing itself.

"Why don't you use this on that fucking prick of a fiancé? Let him know who's the boss. Have a good night, Miss Katna."

I was done, and I knew there wasn't enough alcohol to drown my sorrows away. Something collided with my back and closed the door once more. I lost my breath and slammed against the door. With the same intensity, my Bow turned my body and rammed herself as close as she could get. Our chests touched with our labored breathing, and we could taste each others breath. Mine told of the bit of drinking I had done, hers revealed her penchant for drinking sweetened tea.

We started a staring contest, who would win it was another guess.

"Let-"

I had decided I was not going to keep playing and was about to ask her to let me go, when she abruptly took action. Her lips crashed on mine, without any subtlety. She wanted to own me, take me into her. My eyes opened and I saw her, the girl who taken hold of my heart. It wasn't mine, not since my eyes had gazed upon her. I had no control or right to stop her, for my heart demanded I let go.

_Just let go_.

I'm your slave.

My mouth granted her access, without delay our tongues met. I moaned and grunted, as my hands decided to touch her bare skin. It was better that my eyes stayed closed, and not join at the perusal of her delicate skin.

I felt tempted to mark that precious skin, to prove to the world that Peeta Mellark loves this girl, this woman.

Just as quickly, she pulled back. Her lips were swollen and red, and her eyes remained closed. I moved forward and rested my forehead, while keeping my eyes locked on her face watching every intake of breath, any movement from her.

In a whisper, she said, "What happened the night of the masque?"

Those simple words felt like little punctures into my lungs, leaving me breathless.

"It was the night I was sure you knew how I felt for you…and you-you simply moved on as if it meant nothing to you. You left me there, you left with Asher as if what happened between us was insignificant. You fucking kissed me that night in the treehouse. It helped me accept my place, embrace my life as Man with the Gun. Yet here I am. Apart from being my boss, you have bewitching qualities, ensnaring me to you."

I shook my head, feeling defeated instead of victorious. My hands dropped from her shoulders, and I tried to put space between us. Her continued silence enraged me, causing me to explode.

"What was your plan tonight? Find me drunk and stupid. Flaunt your voluptuous curves and see if I fell to my knees, willing to serve you. I can have any woman I want, ready for me every fucking night here, at the Underground. I told you there's nothing left of the baker's son for you to cling to."

My words left without much thought, but its effect had devastating results. Her eyes, that had been like diamonds were now dark and lost. I knew she was holding her tears, with her hands fisted at her sides. If only she would hit me, slap me.

"I hope you enjoy my brother's hand-me-downs. She must be some girl."

I had moved from the door, and Katna took the opportunity to flee from the room. Her last words sparked something within me, she knew about my coping ways; instead of reliving what had just happened, I thought of my promise to Katna. I would honor that promise, even if I had to see her marry that bastard.

And that's how I broke my Bow's heart.


	18. OUTTAKE - The Train (PiP prompt)

It was just another trip to the Capitol for me. I knew my game and my place on the chessboard. I was just another pawn in Hunter Everdeen's hands to do his biding. Unlike most of his lackeys, I had chosen this path willingly. It was the only path to take.

The train was luxurious and accommodating. Nothing was better for the Everdeens. His pride and joy was on her way to her first official meeting as future head of the Everdeen empire.

I felt sorry for the kid. Katna had been primed since birth, to be the perfect daughter. If I think on it, I've never seen her truly smile. Maybe to her sister Prim. While Gale has been given leeway. It truly shows being born a woman is a curse.

The humming of the train was the only sign it was moving at high-speed towards the Capitol. How I wished it would stop at District 4, so that I could see the sea again. I shook my head and tried to get back into mindset. Keep your head focused in the objective, Odair. I took deep breaths, to get centered and recall the photos Abernathy had shown me.

A fragrance was in the air. A female was in the vicinity.

"Odair."

Katna Everdeen always on duty. With a simple nod, she took a seat and continued to ignore my presence. Pity, I wasn't in the mood to leave her alone with her thoughts.

"How did it go?"

Her gray eyes stared intensely, almost wishing my disappearance.

"How did what go? Speak your mind, Mr. Odair."

I scoffed in response.

"Finn. You can call Finn, Katna. You've known me a very long time. After all we are like family. Wait… we are. I'm bound by oath to your family. To you. So… how did your escapade into the Underground turn out?"

Katna started to fidget in her seat, as if little ants had decided to crawl and bite her. Her cheeks were flushed and her breathing stopped.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about, Mr. Odair. Please refrain from speaking to me so freely in the future. If you excuse me, I'm going back to my room."

Before she could escape, my hand simply touched her elbow and she shuddered in place.

"Your body doesn't lie. Where's the boy? I bet he can't be in the same room with you without picturing your nakedness and your sighs. Writhing in pleasurable bliss, as he plunged into you, again and again. You didn't want him to stop. You crave his touch, his kisses and his whispered words in the darkness of that forsaken room. Fine, don't tell me. I already know your secret, Katna. Word of advice, be sure no one else sees it as clearly. We wouldn't want your fiancée to find out, do we?"

She turned and glared, her hands held into angry fists ready to pound. Her eyes welled with held back tears, and her cheeks were even more crimson.

"How dare you? Are you trying to blackmail me? What-"

"Is there a problem here, miss Katna?"

Mellark had barged into the fray. It wasn't really a surprise, since his job was to follow every footstep his mark made. Mellark was known to be thorough and efficient in his job, having been given the most sacred trust of protecting Everdeen's daughter.

I gave him my signature smirk. The fucker tried to avert his eyes, as he knew he couldn't deflect my knowing gaze. He had broken the oath, and it would mean his life. Even after Abernathy had warned him. I had to admit I liked him very much. The baker's son had cojones and the spunk to be a Man with the Gun, therefore he was naturally sweet honey for our beloved Katna.

"Nothing. I'm gonna serve myself a drink, or two, and pass out somewhere. Don't go looking for trouble you two, there are always eyes watching, even in the darkness of night. Take care, Mellark."

His gun holster was open, ready for access. I showed him my own, as a sign of good faith between us. There was no need to start shit. His stance relaxed, but his eyes strayed towards the girl with the gray eyes.

"You can retire to your room, Pe- Mellark. I'll be returning to my room shortly. Good night, Mr. Odair."

Without looking in my direction, she left towards the automatic door.

Swishing my drink in my tumbler, I chuckled.

"She already has you by the balls, Mellark. I'm pretty sure she's waiting in YOUR room. So, get the hell out of here."


	19. OUTTAKE: Covet (PiP prompt)

I want to be anywhere but here.

I despise his little impromptu visits. It only serves to cement my hatred against this pompous little prick. The good doctor can't help himself to gloat about his supposedly caring nature towards his fiancée. Mrs. Everdeen eats it all up, about to swoon, as she openly stares, looking from is expensive shoes to his ash blonde hair, perfectly styled.

Down.

There's nothing, but going down.

To the Underground to drown my sorrows or slake my latent lust.

I take a deep breath.

I'm glad Haymitch isn't close by to witness my near meltdown. It only exasperate things, as he knows too much already. I know he means well, but I can handle it.

I have to.

No saving grace at the end of the tunnel for me. And yet I can't seem to regret what I've done to get here. A man's life in my hands meant nothing, if it got me to my Gray Eyes. I didn't hesitate. I didn't empty my stomach right after, as all my comrades were betting on. It earned me the respect of the Underground, surprising even Haymitch.

No, I don't regret any of it. Not at this very moment.

Katna slowly appears down the staircase. Her hair is not in her usual braid, down her back. Her face is clear of any make-up, no artificial illusions needed. Her simple turquoise summer dress flutters with her slight movements. Her eyes are downcast, depriving me of staring at them.

Those eyes are at fault, for every single thing I've done since looking right at them. They led me here, to watch over her, every minute of everyday.

Is it enough?

No.

He grins at her, pushing forth the bouquet of red roses in her face. Prim prompts her sister to be grateful, while Katna grimaces in embarrassment. I know for a fact, she loathes roses, of any color, any size. He doesn't know her at all, and doesn't even care. He blatantly disregards her feelings, bulldozing over her, using to his advantage the fact she will do as she's told. Hiding behind a mask… the perfect daughter, heir to the Everdeen empire, the complacent future wife.

My hand itches, wanting to reach inside my jacket.

Caress that trigger.

So close, yet so far.

I glare in his direction instead.

I notice that my Bow can't keep her dissatisfaction at bay, as her frown clearly lines her face. It is now my turn to mentally egg her on. Act on your rage, say the words.

Say it. Damn everything, your duty and this fucking family.

And there is lies, the hold over all of us, even blood over me. Hunter Everdeen and his family legacy won't sever the chains lightly.

Mitchell Asher ignores Katna's hesitant embrace and pulls her closer. Proceeds with kissing her forehead, a placating gesture for the lurking audience. There's no passion or love between them.

My eyes involuntarily close, as I picture my kiss on her face. It would be a loving caress… it would be real.

A token of my devotion.

Without holding back, Mitchell leers her modest cleavage. Lust. Yes, he doesn't hide it. It grates on him, that Katna keeps him at bay. One foot out of line, just give me a reason… my finger twitches in anticipation.

Katna brushes his hand off her arm. Her visage all serious, eyes determined, duty and honor. Her body moves away from him, family and strength.

She's her father's daughter, not to be fucked with.

It makes me grin, causing me to suppress it.

Covet.

That's just another sin to add to the pile, what has become of my life.

I do desire what he can freely have. To hold her in my arms. To be the recipient of one of her elusive smiles, reserved only to people she loves.

She doesn't give it to him.

With malice, I relish it for what is worth.

Katna fails in her intent to be thankful for the flowers, for the unwanted attention. She can't hide the irritation from her gray eyes.

He steals another kiss, this time from her mouth. Chuckles at Prim's poorly concealed gasp, from where she hides behind the stairs. And finally he leaves, too busy to stay for dinner.

Thank fuck.

Bow can feel my stare, and gift me with a glimpse inside her gray pools. I wanna swim in them, even if I don't come out ever again.

The "if only's" start to resonate inside my head, taking over in automatic play mode. If only I had been high-born, not a simple baker's son, worthy of Katna Everdeen, and her father, the infamous, Hunter Everdeen. For one millisecond I wish I was the doctor, with the great connections.

That wasn't my fate. I don't get to dance with the girl on her birthday. Or kiss her cheek. Bring her foolish gifts in hope of getting inside her. That last one makes me cringe, knowing those are Asher's ulterior motives, not mine.

Duty.

Honor.

Family.

Those three things are what Katna values most. I have a duty, to protect her life above anything else. I will honor the blood vow, may I be shot dead if I ever fail. Family… this is my life now. Her family, is my family, for I belong to her, until the last beat.

I am a sinner, a true Man with a Gun.


End file.
